Q1: Can you share why you dedicated the book to your wife, children, and others on a similar path?
A1: Absolutely. The dedication reflects my deep gratitude and love for those who have been part of my journey. My wife, Elisabeth, stood by me during the tumultuous times of researching the truth claims of the church. It's a tribute to her strength and support. I dedicated it to my children with the hope that one day they might understand the complexities of our experiences. To those on a similar path, it's a reassurance that they aren't alone, and to those who choose to stay, I hope it provides insights into why I made the decision to leave.
Q2: The patriarchal blessing you received played a significant role in shaping your expectations. How did that shape your identity, and what prompted you to question the path you initially envisioned?
A2: The blessing had a profound impact on me. It set a grand narrative for my life, envisioning a future as a high leader in the LDS Church. I was determined to fulfill God’s plan for my life. As such, I wanted to deeply understand prophets and how they drew closer to God. I spent a lot of time studying about them. Then I turned to history books about the prophet Joseph Smith, including the book Rough Stone Rolling. There I learned things I’d never been taught in any church lesson. As I delved deeper into my faith and sought answers to troubling questions that started to pop up because of what I was reading, I realized the path wasn't as straightforward as I thought. The conflict between my expectations and the reality I was uncovering led to a period of deep introspection and doubt.
Q3: The title suggests a deep personal struggle. Can you share more about your journey and what the phrase "Many are called, but few are chosen" means in the context of your story?
A3: The scripture “Many are called, but few are chosen…” was used as the title because it became a type of mantra for me throughout my life. I believed God had high expectations of me and I was constantly reminding myself that I had to live up to His expectations if I was going to be chosen to fill the role He wanted me to fill. Everything was predicated on my righteousness and dedication to the church. I became meticulous. No lessons existed on how to lead the church. No one stood and spoke about how a prophet was to prepare during his youth. Out of the many called, only one could make it out as God’s chosen. For that, they had to be tough. They had to build their own way home. After all, many are called. It was up to me to be chosen. Later, when I began to worry that I wasn’t living up to my potential it began to feel like a milestone around my neck that if I didn’t live up to my blessing I would be one of the many that were not chosen and left behind by God.
Q4: Your memoir delves into the challenges of navigating a faith crisis within the Mormon Church. What motivated you to share your story, and what message do you hope readers take away from it?
A4: The decision to share was a difficult one. I’m an introvert and prefer to keep to myself. After writing the book I sat on it for a long time before I shared it with family members. It took longer to decide that I would share it with a wider audience. The decision to share my story was fueled by the realization that many within the Church grapple with similar struggles silently. When I was going through my experiences, I would have wanted a book like this memoir, so a large part of this is sharing it for those who were the version of me from a decade ago. I wanted to offer a narrative that resonates with those facing the uncomfortable place of finding out about the messy aspects of LDS church history and let them know they aren't alone. Ultimately, I hope readers take away the importance of questioning, seeking truth, and the resilience found in navigating personal beliefs.
Q5: Your background in engineering and psychology influenced your approach to researching and writing about your faith crisis. How did these disciplines shape your perspective, and what advice would you give to others approaching their own questions of faith with a similar analytical mindset?
A5: Engineering taught me to approach problems systematically, and psychology added a layer of understanding human behavior. In researching church history, I aimed for an objective, fact-based approach. My analytical mindset led me to approach church history with a focus on facts that all sides could agree on. It allowed me to focus on trying to navigate the complexities objectively before making any decisions on what it all meant.
My advice would be to stay true to your analytical mindset. The path can often feel lonely and at time make you question yourself. For me it was important to seek answers that aligned with my core value of truth. I wanted to believe in true things, not just comforting things. Often I tried to bury what I was feeling, but it’s also important to recognize the emotional aspect. I got a minor degree in psychology, and I'm not an expert in psychology by any means, however I do find the subject fascinating and often read books, articles, and listen to podcasts on the subject. That provided important tools as I went through some of the emotional upheaval that can happen when looking into church history. It's essential to balance finding the truth with empathy for yourself as you seek answers that align with your core values.
Q6: One of the main graphics on your website is reminiscent of "The Truman Show". Was this intentional? If so, what captivates you about this film, and do you see any parallels between its themes and your journey explored in "Many are Called, But Few are Chosen"?
A6: "The Truman Show" has always been one of my favorite movies. I don’t know that I was specifically looking for a graphic that paralleled the Truman Show, but the idea in the image matches a lot of what the website is about. I always found the movie funny, entertaining, and emotional. I still watch it about once a year. It still resonates with me now due to its exploration of reality, authenticity, and breaking free from a predestined path. There are parallels in the sense of questioning the predetermined narratives and seeking one's own truth, a theme that echoes throughout my memoir. The desire for authenticity and breaking free from expectations is a universal journey, and Truman's story encapsulates that beautifully. Also there is the narrative of choosing the unknown over certainty in exchange for a life that was chosen and not dictated. We can always choose our own path.
Q7: In your journey of critical thinking within the LDS Church, were there specific historical events or doctrines that posed significant challenges to your beliefs? How did you navigate these challenges intellectually and emotionally?
A7: The challenges were multifaceted, ranging from historical events to doctrinal inconsistencies. A lot of the historical events and doctrines were the same that have been with the LDS church since inception. Growing up in the church, I thought I knew everything about say polygamy, Book of Abraham, or Book of Mormon issues. But I really didn’t know much. It took reading the history and actual facts before I realized the story is much larger than I had thought. Intellectually, I sought out approved sources and focused on universally acknowledged facts. Emotionally, it was a delicate balance, acknowledging the emotional weight of the journey while remaining committed to truth-seeking.
Q8: How can cultivating critical thinking within religious communities contribute to a more compassionate and understanding society?
A8: Critical thinking promotes open dialogue and the ability to appreciate diverse perspectives. Within religious communities, it encourages empathy by acknowledging that individuals may question and explore their faith. Compassion grows when there's an understanding that everyone's journey is personal, and respect for everyone, even with differing beliefs becomes a foundation for unity. It also encourages empathy because it helps individuals question the hardline stance. When someone can admit there is nuance, the are generally more sympathetic to those on the other side.
Note: This bonus Q&A is a glimpse into the author's thoughts and experiences related to "Many are Called, But Few are Chosen." For a more in-depth exploration, read the memoir.
